


Not-So-Old Switcheroo

by Chronos_X



Series: Headcanons (2016-) [31]
Category: Akira Toriyama (鳥山 明), Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Super, Dragon Ball Z, Toriyama Akira (鳥山 明)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Body Swap, Chi-Chi Being an Asshole (Dragon Ball), Chi-Chi from Dragon Ball cleans house, Clueless Goku is clueless, Confused Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Freaky Friday - Freeform, Funny, Headcanon, I have too much free time on my hands, Oblivious Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Old Switcheroo, Outdated slang is outdated, Slang, Super Shenron is pretty chill, Surfer Dude, Switching bodies, What-If, Zamasu swaps bodies with somebody else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29656107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chronos_X/pseuds/Chronos_X
Summary: Also found on https://www.deviantart.com/chronos-x/art/Not-So-Old-Switcheroo-848394246Dragon Ball Super: Twilight of Gods I - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1466320
Series: Headcanons (2016-) [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1635487





	Not-So-Old Switcheroo

Zamasu: I wish to trade bodies with Son Goku.

Super Shenron ( _speaks with a surfer dude accent_): Yeah brah, cool wish and all, but have you seen his wife?

Zamasu: What's so special about her?

SS: She's like totally fine, brah! ( _Shows him a picture of Chi-Chi_ ). Just look at her, man! Ain't she the finest woman you ever seen!?

Zamasu: She's a six at best.

SS: Blasphemy, my green hombre! She's like one of the strongest women in U7, brah!

Zamasu ( _chuckles_ ): Indeed. She could easily beat that old janitor with the missing arm and leg back at Gowasu's palace.

SS: Honestly dude, you're impossible. ( _Hands him an iPad_ ). Just... have a look at this GodTube vid, then we'll talk.

_ Later... _

SS: So what do you think?

Zamasu ( _utterly bemused_ ): The stories do her no justice. She's... she's perfect. No... not perfect... a force of nature. Gods of Destruction wish they had a sliver of her power. To think a lowly female has the most powerful mortal in the Multiverse utterly at her mercy... ( _Clears throat_ ). I changed my mind. I wish to trade bodies with... Mrs. Son.

SS ( _snaps his fingers_ ): Cool beans, brah.

_ Later still, at U7... _

Goku ( _positively puzzled_ ): You feelin' alright, Chi-Chi? You haven't yelled or nagged at me for almost a week now. Not that I mind, of course, but still...

Chi-Chi Black ( _speaks with a slight posh British accent_ ): Why, whatever are you talking about, dear?

Goku: Well, for one thing, I didn't know you were from... uh... what's the name of that country where people are always drinking tea and dentists can't hold down a job?

CCB: England.

Goku: Right... could've sworn this is the first time you talked like... well, like of them.

CCB ( _smiles again_ ): My dear, you are oh so endearingly sottish. I have always spoken with an accent. You just never noticed.

Goku ( _shrugs_ ): If you say so.

CCB: Dinner's almost ready. ( _Grumbles to herself, p ours a cup of tea_). I'll teach that overpowered manchild a lesson he won't forget. This bootleg pack of Ex-Lax Maximum Strength will make sure of it.

Goku: Chi-Chi? You do realize I can hear you, right?

CCB: Oh, bollocks! ( _Sighs_ ). I wonder how things are going back home...

_ Meanwhile, at U10... _

"Zamasu": YOU CALL THAT A HAKAI!? I'VE HAD HEMORRHOIDS STRONGER THAN THAT!

Rumush ( _makes a placating gesture_ ): But it was my best effort!

"Zamasu": BEST EFFORT MY ASS! OUR MORTAL LEVEL DROPPED TO NEGATIVE ZERO IN LESS THAN A WEEK! GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER AND RAISE IT, YOU UNDERPERFORMING, DISAPPOINTING, PATHETIC EYESORE-SLASH-EXCUSE FOR A DEITY!

Rumush: Alright, alright, I will! Sheesh, Zamasu, what's gotten into you lately? Why're you always on my case?

"Zamasu" ( _yanks one of Rumush's ears_ ): DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO ASK!? GO DO YOUR JOB RIGHT NOW, OR YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR ETERNITY, YOUNG ELEPHANT!

( _Rumush whimpers like a chastised mutt, scurries off with his tail between his legs. Gowasu spies from a half-closed door nearby_ ).

Kusu ( _whispers, hiding under a bed_ ): Is he gone?

Gowasu: He... he's just standing there... menacingly. We must speak to Grand Zen-Oh about this.

Kusu ( _comes out of hiding_ ): Are you out of your mind!? He popped over to the Omni King's palace, twisted his and Father's ear till they brought back all the Lost Universes! He's unstoppable! ( _"Zamasu" repeatedly strikes at the door with an axe_ ). He's here, he's here! ( _Kusu hides again_ ).

"Zamasu" ( _peaks inside from the hole he just made, smiles à la Jack Nicholson_ ): Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Zammy!

Gowasu ( _sweats copiously )_: Oh snickerdoodles...

**Author's Note:**

> Visual aid for context:
> 
> https://www.deviantart.com/adb3388/art/Chi-Chi-Black-No-mercy-for-Goku-848386282


End file.
